Do you have questions about keeping your baby or toddler out past bedtime? Wondering how to handle sleep when you’re out past your baby’s bedtime? I’m here to help.
Is it okay to keep my baby or toddler out past bedtime?
Yes! I want you to be able to go out and enjoy events and activities with your baby. It’s good for little ones to learn to be flexible. Just know that this works best when you follow the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time your little one follows a consistent routine and 20% of the time we can be flexible.
How do I handle sleep if my baby is going to be out past bedtime?
Here are tips to help prepare for that late night. Know that some might not apply to your situation; that’s okay. Find what works and use that!
1. Expect the unexpected.
A big part of keeping your little one out past bedtime is being flexible. Their wake windows might be longer than you’d like, they might take an extra unexpected nap, they might be fussy, or they might surprise you and do just fine. Try to go with the flow. Making memories with your family is so important. One night with a late bedtime isn’t going to ruin your great little sleeper.
2. Allow for more daytime sleep.
Nothing will ruin your fun faster than an overtired baby or toddler. On days that you know you’ll have a late evening, allow your baby to nap longer than normal if they will. For some babies, this just really isn’t realistic. For others, this tip is a game changer.
3. Pack for your plans.
If you’re headed to a friend or family member’s house:
It might work to put your little one to bed at their house. Bring a portable crib/Pack ‘n Play and any sleep essentials (sound machine, pajamas, pacifiers), and put your baby down for bed there. Try to find a bedroom or space away from the action. When you’re ready to leave, transfer them to the car. If they’re awake when you arrive home, you may have to do a mini bedtime routine or help them fall back to sleep. That’s okay! (If this tip isn’t the right fit for your little one, keep reading.)
If you’re headed out to dinner or an event:
Sometimes, little ones are so excited and stimulated by everything happening around them that they happily stay awake longer than you expect. Bring their favorite toys and books, snacks that you know they love, and maybe a wrap or carrier to babywear. You’ll be ready to keep them entertained and have the option to keep them close. If they get fussy, switch things up. Let another adult play with them, take little walks around the restaurant or venue, or use that carrier for an extra cat nap.
If you plan for them to fall asleep on the drive home:
Bring pajamas, extra diapers, and even a sound machine to help make the car-to-crib transition easier for everyone. (See the next tip for handling bedtime in the car.)
Safety Tip: Please know that carseats out of the car, strollers, and adult beds are not safe for unsupervised sleep. All of the same safe sleep rules still apply when you’re away from home.
4. Prepare for sleep before you leave.
If you have a long trip home, consider getting your little one ready for bed before you get in the car. Right before you head home, find a quiet space to change your little one’s diaper and put on pajamas. (Save the swaddle or sleep sack until you get home, as they’re not safe in the car seat.) If they need a feeding, offer it before you leave. If they fall asleep on the way home, they're already ready for bed. When you get home, transfer them right to the crib or bed.
If your baby wakes when you get home or they don’t fall asleep, do a mini version of your typical bedtime routine. Think 5-10 minutes.
Expert Tip: If your baby wakes up once you transfer them to the crib (or never fell asleep on the way home), you may need to provide a bit more support. That’s okay! Keep the lights low and offer the help your little one needs. For some, this means providing a second condensed version of your bedtime routine; for others, it’s simply rocking or snuggling before placing them in the crib or toddler bed.
Bottom line: do what you need to do to help your baby or toddler sleep. One night will not derail your great little sleeper.
5. Plan for a “low-key” day tomorrow.
If you’re planning to be out tonight, try to keep tomorrow as “normal” as possible. Allow baby to get good naps at home and follow your typical bedtime routine. This can be a good “reset” after a late night out.
6. Rely on your plan for sleep.
When little ones go to bed overtired, you may see night wakings. Don’t let this stress you. That foundation that you’ve laid isn’t undone. Remember that you have a sleep plan to fall back on if things go awry.
7. Try it again!
No matter how it goes, plan for another evening out past bedtime in the future. No, that doesn’t mean every night or even every other night. But, part of learning to be flexible is practice. My goal is for you to have a great little sleeper so that your whole family can thrive. And to most families, thriving looks like having the flexibility to live a full life — one that includes going out to eat with a friend from out of town, attending your cousin’s wedding, being a part of a weekly community group, or anything else that brings your family joy.
