Have questions about gentle sleep training? You're not alone. Here's everything you need to know.
What does gentle sleep training actually mean?
We all have different ideas of what “gentle” looks like; there truly isn’t one method that is universally accepted as “gentle.” What most people agree about a more “gentle” approach to sleep training is that it should consider all of your baby’s physical, emotional, and developmental needs as well as minimize your baby’s distress.
If you want to be gentle, you should make sure your child is physically ready for sleep, remain emotionally connected, be responsive to your baby, and stay consistent. You can absolutely sleep train in this way.
Looking for a gentle way to help your baby sleep?
Which sleep training methods are considered gentle?
“Gentle” vs “not gentle” truly varies by parent, perspective and a child’s temperament. Two sleep training methods that are typically considered “more gentle” would be pick up/put down and the chair method/gradual fading.
- Pick up, put down is a method in which, any time a baby is crying, the parent picks them up. As soon as the baby is calm, the parent returns them to the crib.
- Chair method or gradual fading is a method where the parent sits in a chair next to the child’s crib or bed and gradually moves the chair farther away until they are out of the room.
For some, interval-based reassurance, where a parent is responsive to baby’s cries by going in to provide comfort at more set intervals throughout the night, can also feel “gentle.”
Research shows that all 3 of these methods “provide significant sleep benefits, yet have no adverse stress responses, and have no long-term effects on parent-child attachment or child emotions and behavior.”(1)
Additionally (and don’t miss this), sleep training “methods” are only one piece of the puzzle. A method simply tells you how you’re going to react when your little one awakens in the night. But baby sleep is about much more than just your reaction to night wakings. A true sleep training plan needs to account for the “big picture” of your child as a whole human… not just their night wakings. Your holistic plan, your child’s temperament, and your consistency with the method you choose often have more impact on the "gentleness" of sleep training than the “method” itself.
Is Taking Cara Babies considered gentle sleep training?
Yes. Taking Cara Babies teaches gentle sleep training. There’s a big misconception that Taking Cara Babies is not a gentle approach to sleep training. However, this is simply not the case.
If you watch the videos in my classes, I walk you through various methods for responding to your baby that allow you to choose and customize what feels right or gentle for your family. Each method, along with the holistic approach, takes into account all of your baby’s needs: you’ll make sure your child is physically ready for sleep, you’ll be responsive to your baby’s tears, and you’ll remain emotionally connected every step along the way.
Let me show you what families have to say about my sleep training classes:
How is gentle sleep training different from cry it out or the Ferber method?
“Gentler” sleep training methods are often more hands-on and physically present in the room for longer periods in the night than cry-it-out or the Ferber method. But, cry-it-out and interval-based reassurance are also very different from one another.
To be clear, cry-it-out (also called total extinction or abbreviated CIO) involves simply laying a baby in the crib, closing the door, and coming back to get them in the morning. This is leaving your baby unsupported during the night, which is not something I ever advocate because it’s not connected, and in some cases, it's simply not safe.
On the other hand, interval-based reassurance is a method where a parent is responsive to baby’s cries by going in to provide comfort at more set intervals throughout the night (One specific form of this is called the “Ferber Method.”). Depending on how you implement an interval-based reassurance method, it can actually involve less crying over time and an equal connection to a more physically hands-on approach.
Is there a "most gentle" sleep training method?
There isn't one “most” gentle form of sleep training. To me, “gentle” requires physical preparation, emotional connection, responsiveness to your baby’s needs, and the fewest tears possible.
For some, what feels gentle is being very hands-on with your baby or physically present in the room throughout the night. And this can feel gentle, but it often requires a longer process of sleep training which can actually result in more total crying when you look at the whole experience. On the other hand, what feels gentle to other parents is fewer tears in total over a shorter sleep training process, which may include giving your baby a bit more physical space while still providing emotional reassurance.
The term “gentle” is really dependent on a parent’s comfort, their perspective, and their child’s temperament. And the approach that feels most “gentle” will always be very individual and personal. That's why my classes teach you multiple methods and allow you to choose what's best for your little one.
Can you gently sleep train a newborn?
Sleep training isn't developmentally appropriate until 5 months of age. However, you can gently work on sleep skills with your newborn even in the first few weeks.
My newborn sleep class is a no-cry approach that can help babies begin to get longer stretches of sleep at night and more restful days. For some babies, this is all the help they'll ever need to eventually sleep 10-12 hours at night. For others, sleep training at or beyond 5 months can be helpful in solidifying those 10-12 hours nights, and the foundation in the newborn stage makes sleep training so much easier.
Can you gently sleep train a toddler?
Yes. Typically, sleep training is appropriate any time from 5 months to about 5 years. Even if you haven’t ever worked on independent sleep, it’s not too late to have a great sleeper, even in the toddler years.
How long does gentle sleep training take?
Depending on the method, sleep training can take a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months. Keep in mind that the length of sleep training doesn’t mean that it’s right or wrong for your family. Here are some factors that impact how long sleep training takes:
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Does your child already have any independent sleep skills? This often speeds the process.
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Are you able to be consistent with your chosen method? Consistency helps your child learn much faster.
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Are you hoping to be very hands-on or physically present in the room for the entire night? For most, this does lengthen the sleep training process.
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Are you committed to a holistic plan or simply a night-intervention method? The more holistic the approach, the faster sleep training goes because factors like naps, feeding, active awake time, etc. all directly impact your child’s readiness for independent night sleep.
